Q is for Quandary

| April 29, 2014

Q is for Quandary

1. Predicament

Like in elementary school when you had two best friends and you greatly feared the moment when the teacher asked you to choose partners or you had to pick a seat on the bus for your fieldtrip to the pumpkin patch and you didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but more importantly you didn’t want to be the person who’s feelings got hurt, so you danced that metaphorical dance around “who’s going to sit with who?” and instead ever actually addressing the question, you fake a stomachache the day of the field trip, because your family are the type of people who avoid confrontation.

2. Dilemma

Like when you’re sitting on the subway and an older person gets on, and you can’t decide whether you should offer your seat to them or not, because they could be old enough to appreciate it, or they might not see themselves at an age where people begin to treat them like pregnant women, always giving up seats and opening doors and what not, and so you sit there feeling guilty, debating whether or not you should give up your seat to this seemingly past-middle-age, not quite elderly person, and all the while you missed your stop on the train.

3. Jam

Like when you are supposed to do a reading for class, but you promise yourself you’ll only watch one more episode of whatever series you happen to be Netflix binge-watching at the time, all the while the philosophical texts sit on the floor taunting the weight of their metaphysical truths against the ontological non-sense of the mass media comedy that you are visually consuming by the mouthful, all while your to-do list spirals off the 8.5”x11” page, and you miss a phone call from your mom reminding you to reschedule that dentist appointment you made ages ago.

Also, a delicious spread for gluten-free toast.

4. Sticky Situation

Like when you get jam on your hands.